Sometimes you Gotta Crash Out and Show N*****.

Cry about it then Decide about it.

Sometimes you just have to break down in full body-wracking sobs in order to find your way back. You have to hold it together so many hours of a day and so many days during the week. Stimuli is constantly attacking you from all angles so it only makes sense that your body would feel the need for a release.

A crash out can come in many forms:

• Crying

• Screaming

• Breaking objects

• etc.

It can seem like a bad thing. But sometimes, if you look at what your particular crash out means to you it can reveal more than you think.

Are you upset because you want a new job? Did somebody break your heart and show out with somebody new? Do you want a major shift in your life? Did you lose something important?

What do your big emotions lead back to and what do you want to do about it?

You could crash out and wallow. That’s the easy thing to do. Feel bad for yourself and keep feeling bad about yourself.

You could crash out and forget. Treat the outburst like it didn’t happen. Pretend it was just a one-off thing. You need to suck it up and be an adult.

Or you could crash out and take the time to understand it. Check in with those big feelings and use them as motivation.

You obviously want something to change otherwise you wouldn’t have broken down like that. Your body was screaming for help and your brain was too. I’m not saying you absolutely have to push through and immediately make changes but transmuting that energy into something new could do a wonder of good if you give yourself the chance.

This blog, for example, is the product of a crash out. I didn’t get a job I wanted (I think I wanted it). That rejection took over a month to find its way to me. During that month, my nerves were completely frayed because I wanted to know if my life was finally changing after years of stagnation. My creativity was at an all-time low and the engagement on my socials was the same. I don’t want to stay in retail and I don’t want an hour-long commute. All the while, I was fighting off a cold for the first time in literal years. I just didn’t know what to do with myself. And with SAD ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ in full swing… of course a crash out was inevitable.

I have a bad habit of letting a bad thing be proof that good things just aren’t meant for me. I’ve been that way since middle school. But growing up is knowing that sometimes the coping mechanisms of your youth no longer work in adulthood. As a child you didn’t know better and that’s okay. As an adult though… it’s your responsibility to learn better habits so you don’t hurt yourself or others.

So when you crash out… make a decision about what you want that crash out to mean. Cry about it then decide about it.

Make the active decision instead of a passive one.

Disappear for awhile if you need to. Make moodboards and checklists. Do a pros and cons chart. Have a massive purge of clothing and unused objects. Start a no-buy year. Create that youtube channel (or blog). The only person you’re trying to impress right now is yourself. The rest will come later.